Paranoia via Stephen King

Reading Stephen King books and watching movies based on his books has ruined a lot of things for me. These things will never be the same.

When someone's shadow is at the bottom of my door, I get terrified. In fact, during a thunder storm my door crept open and my first, and totally sane, thought was "IT'S ANNIE WIKLES AND HER NOVRIL AHHH!" Alas, it was my cat. Paul Sheldon was very well done in the film Misery, I'm his number one fan.

Hotels. The Shining and 1408 have made hotels a nightmare. In isolation or not, I just won't travel. Espically if dead kids want to play with me.

Proms and other dances. I slow danced with my friend once...we all have regrets. If Carrie White did kill everyone who attended, at least the embarrasment and terror of not knowing how to dance would end.

Clowns. I don't know why people think clowns are funny, Pennywise will definately not be hired for my fictious futuristic childs birthday. It'll smuther me with the red wig as I die to the sound of a honking nose.

As much as Stephen King has the power to send me chills, it also has the power to entertain me for hours on end. Soiled pants or not, the paranoia is worth it.

Voice Control Is Deaf

I hate it.

"Play 'Alternative.'"
"It is 11:09 PM."

"Play Breaking Benjamin."
"Playing Iron Maiden."

"Play State of Massachusetts."
"Playing Brad Paisley."

"Play Unknown Soldier."
"Playing album Strong Tower."

"Play Loyal To No One."
"Playing Fountains of Wayne."

"Play Metallica."
"You must enable FaceTime before you can make video calls."

Good job Apple.

Interior Decorating

We are building a new house and should move into it in the next couple weeks or so. I'm not one to pay attention to detail, you could see that if you saw my hair, but I have a plan. A Master Plan.

1. Posters. Perferably, band posters, the Hunger Games and maybe a movie poster from the movie Misery because I'm the movie's number one fan. I have three in mind. Dropkick Murphys, Metallica and Breaking Benjamin.

2. Books. I have a small collection of books but as a nerd, I will expand. I want a few, well five, Stephen King books for my birthday. I'm looking at you mom. Well, your wallet mostly.

3. Quiet frankly, I don't have a third. Nothing more to life than that. For a hermit nerd.

Driving Part 2

I went driving again tonight. No heart attacks, so I guess that means it was a success.

Driving on the gravel road and the highway actually went very well. Would you look at that; there's something I can actually do correctly.

There was a huge hole in the road I went into by accident, though I didn't see it. What's another dent right? Traffic court isn't that far.

Parking. I did a lot better than I thought I would. My mother wanted me to back up in between two parked campers and I responded with: "No way. People own those things and are going to need really good insurance." I did it anyways. I almost ran into a fence one time...but that's beside the point.

And now I am aware of how my windshield washers function. I turned it on by accident and I didn't realize how to stop it. So I sat there with them going for a few minutes. Nobody saw. Hopefully.

Christianity

If you did not already know, I am christian. I believe in God and trust and love Him with everything I have, everything I am.

I grew up in a household, always believing in a god. I am not sure why. I occasionally attended a catholic church and even though I believed in God, I knew something was amiss within the catholic faith.

It was after my father's death that I befriended a christian who took me to church and that is where I heard the Gospel message.

I asked God for salavation, yet for years I always felt a heaviness in my chest. I did not know what from.

Now, years later and many trials have passed and still lay ahead of me. With God as my savoiur and Lord, I know I am not alone and I love Him and He is with me and He will draw me neigh. Even now, as I pray and change my life around, I know He is near me and that the love he has for me is everlasting and divine and great in multitude.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see!"

The love I have from God is amazing and I have turned over my life to Him! <3

Revelation 3:20 "Hear I am! I stand at the door and knock and if any man hear my voice, I will come in and eat with him and he with me." God is knocking at the door and it is our choice to answer and welcome Him in our lives with open arms.

Driving With My Mother

We all make mistakes.

Driving with my mother...not the most pleasant experience. I've driven before, however they weren't insane.

The first time driving in my car was good. Until I needed to turn, stop, signal, accelerate or reverse. Why did we get rid of the horse and carriage? Carrots are a lot cheaper than gas.

Speaking of gas, my mother used half a tank before I even got behind the wheel. At $42 a tank, I think my car will make a phenomonal garage ornament.

I turn sharply very nicely. The issue with that is I turn sharply when I don't need to. As if glasses for 12 years wasn't enough, soon I'll need hearing aids too. I think I made my mothers blood pressure spike more than salt ever could.

And the last thing I need to work on is stopping without giving myself whiplash.

I'm not a bad driver, but I think I will slip my mom a few drinks prior to driving next time. Now, off to read Stephen King. Much less terrifying than driving with her.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Cars. Overrated things that move. Can't we just ride snails or horses or something?

Sigh, anyways I got a car recently and it's not all what it's cracked up to be.

For another 10 months, I can't drive alone. So now I have to drive with my mother everywhere and go deaf from her agonizing screaming. I know I needed to stop, I was just seeing if you knew.

I'm vertically challenged, so naturally I can't see very far over the hood without becoming a human sardine.

Cleaning. Oh my gosh, the pain of cleaning. I actually work cleaning and janitorial assistance so it's not that bad. I've found condoms, knifes, phones and lighters at work. In my car, well so far only a pen, hair and an arabic CD roaming around somewhere. Febreeze is my best friend.

Smells, it smells like smoke so badly in there. So now I have a air freshener of the new car scent which smells equally horrendous.

And lastly, being mocked because I didn't know what a fender was. You know who you are.